brother_nature | LIMELIGHT Inbox

You're lucky yer endearing.

[A smirk and he picks up his potion. He's not gonna drink it yet, but he knows a toast when he sees one. Gonna clink it to his.]

Don't go spittin' it out if it's somethin' wild, yeah?

I'm also that, too.

[ don't make him nearly choke on his tiny sip like that, goose!!! ]

[ he doesn't choke on it! he does make a surprised oh sound ]

[ and tears up - ]

[ which he immediately goes to wipe away. ]

Sorry, it's not bad exactly - just. Surprising. Nice.

It's not something I thought I'd remember.

[eyebrow raise]

Well don't keep me in suspense.

He's an amnesiac, too, right? And he had two lives: W and B. He kind of remembers B but he doesn't remember W and -

This is one of W's? It's his Bar Mitzvah which is a super important moment in a Jewish kid's life. Traditionally they're considered an adult, but it's really just a super fancy thirteenth birthday these days um -

I can show you, if you want. [ he swallows. ] But as a warning, it's also the day W dies.

[ so yeah he died on his birthday, essentially, wow. ]

[staring at him through the window like what's a jewish whats a bar mitzah honestly WHAT THE FUCK IS A BIRTHDAY--

squints a little, then puts his hand through the open hatch]

You're sayin' a bunch of words and at least two of 'em sounds like it should be way more alarming than how you're speaking.

So yeah, lemme see.

I could literally explain those words to you, but okay.

[ he will pass over the potions bottle. ]

It really is mostly really nice if you ignore the last, like, five minutes or whatever.

That ain't happening.

[TAKES A SIP.

long silence and then a flinch.]

Ah, I get it. It's a coming of age ritual for some folks, real important day, and ya party afterwards after completing it. Fortune teller bit was kinda weird, but she was clearly worried for ya. All in all, seems pretty fun.

Aside from the part where you--he dies.

So this is what happened just before that last vision. When the other, OTHER version woke up in his dead body, is that right?

You got like at least three versions of someone like you runnin' around in yer head, and you've seen a reflection of yourself die who knows how many times. Don't shrug it off so easily.

[ he could respond to the first part but the flinch gets him. the continuation gets him. ]

[ his hands fold in front of him and his hands are still wet. he takes a moment to chew on it - to think about how he wants to answer. ]

I'm not. If I'm honest - I'm still scared but there's this thing in me -

The dying wasn't surprising and it hurts, but getting a glimpse of that life and knowing what was lost hurts a lot more.

I-He's lived pretty much every day thinking he stole William's - [ a flinch ] life. That he's lying to his parents and questioning who he is - which one he is. His first wish may be to find his brother, but his second is to figure out who he is and there's this memory - this moment - where I think he's got his answer and I think this is just proof of it.

That William - [ flinch ] - isn't just dead. That's he's a part of him - me, too. That as confusing, sad, and tragic it is we might coexist?

Edited 2025-04-19 08:12 (UTC)

If that's what you think, don't disrespect him by trying to brush off how fucked up it is.

It sucks.

The whole thing sucks.

[ quiet, steelly. ]

It more than sucks. I've only gotten one of these things that don't involve some mention of dying or death or feeling like you don't even belong in your own body and -

I've thought about it so much. I don't want to cry about it anymore, but it's not like I can do anything about it or to fix it or - [ he shakes his head, breath coming out in a puff. ]

. . .

[mind empath theater. Unholy bro going thru it. Sad??? So sad not sad anymore??? fucked up. bad.]

. . .

[reaches through the exchange hatch and just, pats his hand. There there dot broom jpeg but with like, hands.]

You don't gotta cry. Just don't bury it.

[ that surprises him and he looks up with a start, smiles a little and looks down - specifically at the palm that the fortune teller had looked at with a breath- ]

I'm not. I don't think I can not really. And even if it was short, this one was so much worse than time anyway - the fear-

[ he shakes his head ] But I can't - I don't want to focus on the sad parts. If I do that, I won't be able to look at another one of these again and both of them deserve to hear their stories told and I'm sure they don't want to just be a sad memory.

Because I don't want to be a sad memory either.

Edited 2025-04-21 01:42 (UTC)

[he's making an attempt!! he huffs]

What, you think your existence might be swapped out next?

[ blinks he shakes his head ]

No. Just that - if something happened tomorrow - I'd want people to think about happier moments? I don't know. I can't explain it exactly. But focusing on "they died and it sucks a lot," feels worse then "they were so loved".

. . .

Hah. Well, anyone throwin' a party with that many fuckers there had to be loved a hell of a lot.

Right? A little jealous, honestly. I can't even imagine it.

. . .?

Do you wanna throw a party?

[ opens mouth, closes mouth. ]

I meant... having that many people care enough to come.

I tried doing something for the other teens when I first got on ship, but I've never thrown a real party or been to one before the ship.

Well, no better time than the present to try yeah?

If I threw one you'd be required to come.

I'd be there in spirit! S'my idea, after all.

You're going to be there - that's nonnegotiable.

Hooh, still think they're letting me outta this place?

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